Significant Meaning

     Most of my weeks ahead would consist of many appointments and exploratory exposure to the outside world. But the hardest was dealing with what Pandora's box had opened up in my own world.
     Taking me back to a point in time that I clearly did not want to travel. Most people have a natural love and respect for their mother and want to believe they were wanted and loved from the start or at least some point in their life. This was not my case.
     The first traumatizing  event in nightmare form goes back to about 3 years of age. Location is Orlando, Florida.  It was a dream I had before but had become more realistic and terrifying as I was reliving the dream as if I was that age. Waking me up in a panic attack hyperventilating.
     How would you respond if you found 2 children locked in a street sewer left there to die? You would call the police? That didn't happen. I have a very clear detailed memory of my own mother closing the lid of the sewer on me after she sent me down there to get my bother out of sewer. My brother was down there looking for crawdads and frogs. He was around 6 and I was 3. I remember clearly looking up at her as she pushed the lid over us. I called for her, I cried for her.
    I tried and tried and could move the lid at all. As it was dark and wet and my brother was no help he just wanted to play. Someone opened the lid. But who? It was not human it was a image brighter then the sun . The image said to me my child take my hand. As if a hand from heaven reached down and pulled me out. I called my brother and he took my hand and we left the sewer together. The only other thing was when we got home we stopped at the door from there And that's where I wake up again.  I have not been able to get past that point.
    This as a significant meaning because I don't like the feeling of being pushed aside or put down. Isolation or rejection gives me strength to overcome.  I will not if in my power ever leave anyone behind. But most important it clearly defines Gods promise in Psalms 23.  Angels walk this earth. Who else but God himself could have removed that lid? The voice clearly said my child take my hand.  It's all about what you believe and my faith is my life.  But how to pray properly !
     This would be the first of many lessons to learn. And why has it taken till my late 40's to remember ?
     Next!