First Response

     Over the next few days I felt like I lay in a spinning time warp of past reflections of nightmares and dreams with me as the primary character. Dreams that could not have possibly happened. I was scheduled to see several doctors to figure out what was causing my brain to keep me in such a dazed state.
    It was so painful the aches in my head made a migraine feel like a simple headache. I was terrified to sleep because of what I might dream. In addition to the nerve pain shooting down my arms and the right side of my tingling and numb face, I was sure I had a stroke. But no. Another mass had grown back where the previous one was removed with positive T cells, but my bone marrow was clean.          
Still no clear answers for the hell I was living through.
    All I knew to do was pray.  I started to lash out at strangers and could not be around people. I could not be left alone or go anywhere alone. Just think if you were in a grocery store and you heard someone yelling at a child and a stranger walked up and started telling at the parent to stop yelling at their kid, well that was me. I did this.
    Even to this day it bothers me to hear any child or elder being yelled at by someone. I find it makes me ill. They need to be loved and nurtured. Later I'll get into more details why.
     My heart rate and pulse stayed low so that added to the list of doctors I had to see, but the scariest was the therapist. Have you ever been hypnotized to find out if your dreams and nightmares are real ?
     How does a vibrant, self established , hard working women with a full abundant happy life fall of the ladder of life and just hang ?
     First response I got was repressed trauma triggered buy current situations combined with a extreme physical stressed immune system ! Really?
     So who hit the trigger?