In No Focus

     Like anything spiritually connected whether it's your heart or gut in-stink whatever you want to call it . Your body Often knows when something isn't right.  Time was passing fast and the contract paperwork was going back and forth.  Everything seamed to finally be in order. We have ordered the moving truck and locked some dates. 
   Just as the light started to shine down on us, lightning struck full force sending my children, husband, brother and myself straight slam-dunk into a tail spin.
     See where there's confusion there is no focus. Look at the spelling of the word- c o n f u s i o n  ( i n  n o  f o c u s ).
     With out notice or warning I was being thrown off of the cliff of confusion. I had unannounced visitors who came to the house in reference to our older dog Scooby. My mother-in-law will refer to as Reney and her boss/live-in boyfriend DZ.  Unknown to me on their arrival from east Ocala - Crescent City, DZ had a loaded gun with a silencer in his Chevy pick up truck.  Reney said Michael had sent them, which he didn't. At first she had me convinced they where going to take Scooby to the vet and have him checked out for his health, but if they put Scooby down then the vets office would not give me Scoobys remains. This was a lie also. Vets let you choose  what you want to do with your pet remains, it's the law.  And if you are ever faced with this - cremation options and what they offer has come full circle and at a fraction of the cost. Either way I would not get Scooby back. At this point I was in a clear panic and I could only reach my aunt down the street.
      I left messages, frantic messages on my husband and brother phones who where at work.
     Even though Scooby had a cyst type mass on his back end.  We didn't know what it was other then Scooby's old age. There was no real reason for this. I was not in control, I was confused and crying and all I remember is feeding our dog. My aunt  tried to comfort me but she was no help. I remember them wanting to take Scooby down the street where DZ  parked his truck at a house DZ just sold. Their intention was never to take Scooby to the vet to help us but to kill Scooby and bury him down the street so we wouldn't know. Just Reney saying they were gonna take Scooby down there and bury him there and that my husband Michael said he wanted this.  No way.  I couldn't reach Michael but finally my brother pulled in across the street and right after that DZ shot and murdered our dog in our back yard by the barn. I'm in the house in a freaked out state.   They killed my coffee buddy. I couldn't stop it. I felt defenseless about what just happened.  My children's dog has just been killed and they drive off and  in the back yard there is still a mess of blood and guts on the barn that had to be cleaned up after he was buried. 
      By that time Michael calls back and I'm out of control in tears crying and he swears he was asked only about taking Scooby to the vet. Never would he do such a thing right after Kim died or ever. It was just 2 weeks since we had the memorial brunch.  February 24, 2014 Scooby was shot to death right after they left for school. Michael insisted he received a phone call and was only asked about taking Scooby to the vet for the mass on his backside and to help me because I couldn't it. Scooby was a retriever mix boy and he was about 80lbs.  DZ and Reney was never asked dog to come to our home with a silencer gun and murder our dog.  This was apparently Reney's and DZ's idea like the good old boys due back on DZ's cranberry farms  in WI
    When my brother yelled at me to stay in the house right after this happened,  he was going off . He's he's a lousy --- shot.  I'm done and I have had enough Mike needs to come home and move his family and clean up this f--- mess.  His mother said he wanted to help you because you where going to move. Said she did this for her grandchildren.   You do not hurt people you love.  She's whacked like your mother.  He was right.  Reney specifically asked and just wanted to make sure and to confirm the twins where to never know the truth their own grandmother was responsible for the death of our dog.  So now they want me to keep their murder secret and lie for them.
     I was incapable and Not  in a state of normalcy As I reached Sue my sister and she  came over and helped me give Scooby a service with the kids. It was horrible. They were more devastated over Scooby then they where of Kim. The children where crushed and cried themselves to sleep. My son keeps his picture on his wall board to this day. These babies didn't deserve this and our children won't forget it any time soon. It would have been better to have Scooby cremated after he died on his own.

     I'm required to forgive to be forgiven, but I will not trust them or believe them in anything they do or say. My husband warned me never to trust Reney but like I said before ( you tend to want what you don't have) and you keep trying to believe they will change and you end up leaving yourself  wide open for more abuse. It's abuse and you don't have to take it. Part of healing from the abuse is telling the truth and yes they know everything now.  

      Pandora's box and the kitten dream did stop for a while.
My brother refuses to talk to my husband at this point. Everyone wants Michael to quit and come home but regardless I needed to move.  God told me so.  It doesn't matter what the world says I will make it. They don't understand and I can't explain it but my life is based on faith I can't change now.