Cabin Fever

     Now that the holidays where here we left for Georgia. What would take normally 6 hours took more like 10. Being closed up in a car was a little more claustrophobic  then I thought it would be.  After arriving on the farm I realized what and why my husband wasn't saying much. He needed things and supplies we didn't plan for ahead of time and he didn't  want to spend money we didn't have.
     We always paid everything cash and never had credit debt but it was very cold and the cabin he was staying in had no heat or fireplace. He needed warmer clothes and bedding.  I felt sorry that this was how he was managing and  I couldn't leave him like that. I felt guilty and ashamed. Instead of being happy about seeing each other I was so on edge from the trip I just wanted to sleep and couldn't get warm. I just took my frustration out on everyone and  I started to avoid everyone. As the rest of the family and guest arrived 28 in all I did my best to stay out of the way to avoid any more hostile feelings.
     On Saturday that weekend we finally agreed to call a Realtor and start looking at property.
But I soon would find out I would be on my own with this endeavor. I was not prepared for this.
     With my brothers help he assisted in getting some supplies Michael needed for the cabin. We would bring the rest on the next trip at Christmas.  I couldn't wait to leave because I just couldn't get warm, I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't behave. I was out of my element and it was clear that I shouldn't be around that many people for that length of time with no escape. Trapped in my own environment even with the people I loved, I still needed more time for my physical pain to have more time to heal and the cold weather was brutal.
    By the time we got back home after seeing the doctor I was bedridden for 3 days, with bronchitis and pleurisy on top of everything else. Then I get the call. Michael's been in an accident.